Women can be tough. Years ago, I was President of a women’s club and had held a meeting at our clubhouse. I had done so, not knowing there was an unwritten rule out there that required notifying the lady who lived in an upstairs apartment. No sooner than the meeting was over, I received a phone call. Irate, the women took me to task. In hindsight, I could see her point about wanting to know. I was neglectful and said I’m sorry.
She was an elementary school teacher, tall and imposing. In her loud and authoritative teacher voice she sneered, “Sorry doesn’t cut it!” SLAM went her receiver!
I shirked back to my chair, half pissed off and half confused. I said I was sorry. What more could I do? Her poor students. How bewildered they must be when they cross her line of right and wrong. Did she want me to impale myself with the club’s 100-year-old silver carving knife?
Her remark has stuck in my head for nearly thirty years. I still find it difficult to understand. So, what is an apology really meant for? Is it meant to show remorse for errant behavior? Is it meant to make the aggrieved party feel better? It is meant to make the egregious party feel better? Is it meant to right the wrong? Is it even meant to get a response? Obviously, I was looking for one let’s say a, “That’s okay honey, don’t do it again”.
When you can’t undo the past, an apology becomes a promise that it won’t happen again. When it is a one time act, it is showing remorse and may be asking for forgiveness. But, when it perceived to be insufficient what can you do?
In this complex angry world, sorry has to cut it. Any act of contrition should be perceived as a positive step. Life is short and anger makes it shorter. Get over it and over your perfect self. Peace out….