Seeking Solitude

After I left my job, I felt as though the world was spinning so fast that I couldn’t quite keep up.  Not knowing which way to turn, my instinct was to make it all slow down or stop.  I sought refuge but was not sure where.

Had my situation been different, I think that it may have been easier to re-group and move on.  It had been a long hard struggle that I lost and I was like a war-weary soldier returning from battle alone.

People were sympathetic to a point.  You don’t want a whole lot more than that anyway.  How many times can you really tell the story?  So, you are mostly on your own to recover.

I suffer from PTSD as a result of what I went through.  I have isolated myself from work friends and colleagues.  I avoid that part of town.  My emotions are all over the place and it is a struggle most days. I am determined to overcome this though.

Finding an island where the old does not intrude has been my goal.  There I can re-group, re-invent, and someday sail away to my new life.  Part of my own island has been caring for my mother.  She has been my rock through all of this.  She keeps me busy with a daily routine.  Even at 91, she likes to go a explore so we escape to the movies, museums or sightseeing.  Today we are taking a short road trip.

Maybe, this is what was supposed to be.  It was a hell of a way to get here though.  Life lessons are not easy to understand.  So, my island is not meant to be a prison built to keep my in but one where I will find a peace and solitude.

 

 

Island

 

Maybe you would like to read this post,

Why am I here? Where am I Going?

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